Adam went in this week for his two shots in the ass of thyroid meds and his radioactive pill… Not a good week. The pill will kill any (GOD forbid) remaining cancer cells in Adam’s body, and the thyroid meds were a must since he can’t take his normal meds with this radioactive pill… and of course it’s just another great excuse for Adam to show off the milky white gravitas known to the Ewoks as the GREAT MOONS OF ENDORE!

If you remember from a few posts ago “A shot in the dark side of your moon“, the shots of thyroid meds were on Wednesday and Thursday, both shots were in the ass… BUTT they were free! The price was $800 a butt shot, total of $1600 of ass shots. They also gave Adam meds for the sick feeling that goes along with taking a radioactive pill. Adam talked to the doctor and found a way to get the shots for free BUTT the radioactive pill was $1000.00!!!! HOLY CRAP FROM ADAM’S ENDORE!

Adam will be radioactive for a whole week and can’t visit his family until next Friday… It’s going to be a long week for Adam.

So in traditional Valentines fashion, Adam was an all alone sad bastard… of course. Adam’s family had a surprise birthday for his mother in law on Valentines day, Adams wife didn’t know about the party until two days before. Adam’s wife was guilted into going to the surprise party by her step father, she hadn’t seen her mom in so long so she really had to go.

Adams wife took the kids with her to Georgia for the whole weekend. This was going to be the first weekend in 5 years that Adam wasn’t being screamed at ever minute by the fruits of his loins! This would be a great little break for Adam but it was also Valentines day weekend and Adam does have a full range feelings, even though it just seems he can only express “Great Sadness“.

So it seemed that Adam would be all alone all weekend with his drunk smelly sad self and his sick sad dog, but I knew I had to do something… I couldn’t go out and have fun without thinking about Adam drinking alone on Valentines day. We called Adam and got him to come out and have some social drinking with us .

We all had a great time with a bunch of friends and all was well until… Adam went home that night and tried to cook after he had way too much to drink and ended up giving himself food poisoning from an undercooked steak! When his wife came home the next day he just sadly asked her to never leave him alone again

Poor Adam.

Now that Adam has gotten his braces off he is so excited to get his front tooth fixed and show off his “Hollywood Smile“!

Adam had his front tooth kicked out when he was a just a little boy(I’m sure he deserved it), the dentist saved the tooth somehow but the tooth turned black after a few years; Adam hasn’t smiled in a photo since he was eight so he is very excited to smile again .

STEP 1:
The dentist had to shave Adam’s tooth down to a stump in order to have something for the veneer to hold on to. This was VERY unpleasant for Adam but he went through with it, 25 minutes of painful drilling and he was done… At least he’d never have to go through that drilling ever again! The dentist took a mold of the shaved down tooth, put a temporary tooth in place and sent Adam on his way; It will take three weeks for his dentist to get the permanent veneer.

STEP 2:
Three weeks had passed and Adam’s permanent veneer was ready. The dentist took off the temporary tooth and placed on Adam’s veneer… “Oh No!” said the dentist. It turned out that Adam’s shaved down stump was way too dark and you could clearly see it under the veneer… It was like trying to hide a Fabergé egg in a butterfly’s corn hole. Adam had to have the tooth shaved down even more! So they shaved down Adam’s tooth again, 25 minutes of pain and then they took another mold of Adam’s tooth, put on another temporary and sent him on his way; It would be another three weeks until the new veneer was ready… WTF!!!

STEP 3:
Another three weeks went by and Adam was ready to get his new veneer on at last! The dentist reached for his pliers and pulled out Adam’s temporary tooth, “Oh No!” said the dentist!!!!!! The dentist cracked Adam’s shaved down stump of a tooth that was going to hold in his veneer! Adam was farmen pissed!!!! The dentist told Adam that now they will need to pull out the stump and put in a post to hold the veneer. So Adam had the dentist put in the post…Two hours of fun pain!!!! WTF!!!

STEP 4:
Adam needs to wait a month for the dentist to get a veneer to fit the new post. Adam has a temporary tooth in again, maybe next time it will work out… I don’t know what the frank could go wrong next, but I’m sure something will!

Poor Adam….

You can almost hear the sounds of coins falling out of Adam’s heart as he try’s to keep it all together, but this sound is hard to hear with an ear infection.

Adam’s son Jerome has a bad ear infection that is keeping him up all day and through the night, not good for a four year old. Adam’s wife brought Jerome to the doctor; they waited 45 minutes in the doctor’s office before the doctor even came into the room. The doctor finally came in and looked in Jerome’s ear and then walked out without saying anything… This angered Adam’s wife greatly. The nurse came in quickly and handed Adam’s wife a prescription to be filled and they were on their way.

Adam’s family was quite surprised when they went to pick up the prescription from the drug store and the price was $300!!!! Adam thought there must be a great mistake and called the doctor’s office. Adam explained to his doctor’s nurse that this couldn’t be right for a child’s ear infection. The nurse said that they would look into it and call Adam right back, so when the nurse didn’t call back after one day had past Adam turned green… ripped off his shirt, and punched a whole through their wall!!! Adam went down to ask what was going on, his son is in pain… Well they explained how they just forgotten about Adam and they already called the drug store yesterday and there is a new prescription waiting there for him. Adam was so mad and beat down at this point that he just turned around and went to the drug store.

Adam was going to pick up the prescription with the relief that everything was fixed… WAS! The drug store told Adam that the doctor prescribed a new drug that was $100 MORE!!! WTF!!! $400!!!!!! AHHHHH.

So at point Adam thought to himself about how the doctor must be at his office, the doctor must be very thirsty with an empty glass of reason and respect for mankind; Adam immediately drove down to the doctors office, turned red, grew five times his size and busted through the office wall and said “OH YEAH”! Adam poured the doctor a full glass of F%%$ YOU and left.

Adam told his story to a good friend who’s father is a doctor, Adam’s friend’s father hooked him up with a normal priced prescription that wasn’t anywhere near the price that the Satan doctor wanted to charge him. It took three days but finally Adam got a break, and Jerome had his medicine.

Poor Adam…

Well it was the day of Adam’s surgery, he went in at 7am and came out around 10am. The surgery was a success and everything went right as rain, the kind of rain that could drown a full grown man in a flat field in less than 5 minutes.

Adam’s best friend J.R. drove Adam home from the hospital; J.R. traveled across country from Texas to help out Adam’s family on the week of his surgery. When J.R. and Adam got back to the house they saw that the cable company just started installing fiber cable all through the neighborhood. The installation was really loud and vibrated the whole house, just what Adam needs on the day of his surgery… Adam needs to sleep and now he has to listen to this crap! The noise was like a piping hot cup of coffee that you don’t drink but rather you slowly funnel into your ears until you don’t wake up.

J.R. parked his car out front so he could help Adam into his house. J.R. got Adam into the house than went to move his car, J.R. came outside 5 minutes later to witness the cable company drive into the side of his car! J.R. and the cable company truck driver started screaming at each other until the police arrived. The police sided with the cable company and told J.R. that he shouldn’t have parked in the street while the cable company was working. So not only did the cable company get to hit the car, they also got to make noise all day and keep Adam company while he tried to get sleep after his surgery.

Wonderful…!

It’s just another wonderful day in the life of Adam Saw. The sun is out, the birds are singing, and the roaches are in your mouth!

Adam woke up today to the sounds of baby screams, bad weather, and a low battery alarm clock that will make him very late to work. Adam gathered his strength - got out of bed, and went to the restroom to put the rubber bands in his braces, brush his teeth, and smell up the house just a little.

Adam started putting the rubber bands in his teeth when he felt an odd sensation of something walking in his mouth, his first and correct reaction was to spit… spit out a ROACH!

Yeah a big ass roach was living in Adam’s bag of rubber bands for his braces… The dentist never told Adam of the risk of extra protein that goes with straight teeth!

Poor Adam!

So the equation is “Chocolate + Soda” = Violent vomiting and blindness!

Poor Adam,
Adam doesn’t mix well with certain foods and drinks. Adam told us a story today about one of his first dates with his wife when they were kids; it didn’t start well. Adam and his wife just stopped at a gas station and were in need of cool beverages; his wife got a Fresca and Adam got a Yoo-hoo. Yoo-hoo was one of Adam’s favorite drinks, WAS!
Adam took a few sips and almost instantly started having violent reactions, vomiting, shaking, poo leakage, and temporary blindness! Glad it wasn’t my car!

What the F was in that Yoo-hoo? Nothing but Yoo-hoo, Adam’s body decided then and there that it wasn’t having Yoo-hoo ever again.

Quick fact: it looks the same going out as in