So Adam’s son Jerome has had an ear infection for six months now. Adam has taken Jerome to many doctors that have many different drugs to test on Jerome… like he was their personal little human guinea pig.

Poor Jerome has been taking antibiotics for such a long time that his little digestive system has gone nuts and he’s been pooping squirrels for two weeks.

Adam had enough and took Jerome off the drugs! Adam began searching like crazy for any kind of cure he could find…

1. They tried voodoo ice cream chicken hearts.
2. Amish Asian fusion mashed potatoes and sushi.
3. Chuck Norris tears(They’re hard to get).

Nothing seemed to work… Until Adam saw an old episode of “The A-Team” last week where believe it or not Mr.T had an ear infection… Hannibal cured with it garlic oil! Adam looked it up and it proved true online so they tried it… and it WORKED! Jerome is cured. A few drops of garlic oil in the ears every night for a week and all is now well!
So it’s official, Garlic oil cures ear infections and the A-Team is still saving the day!

You can almost hear the sounds of coins falling out of Adam’s heart as he try’s to keep it all together, but this sound is hard to hear with an ear infection.

Adam’s son Jerome has a bad ear infection that is keeping him up all day and through the night, not good for a four year old. Adam’s wife brought Jerome to the doctor; they waited 45 minutes in the doctor’s office before the doctor even came into the room. The doctor finally came in and looked in Jerome’s ear and then walked out without saying anything… This angered Adam’s wife greatly. The nurse came in quickly and handed Adam’s wife a prescription to be filled and they were on their way.

Adam’s family was quite surprised when they went to pick up the prescription from the drug store and the price was $300!!!! Adam thought there must be a great mistake and called the doctor’s office. Adam explained to his doctor’s nurse that this couldn’t be right for a child’s ear infection. The nurse said that they would look into it and call Adam right back, so when the nurse didn’t call back after one day had past Adam turned green… ripped off his shirt, and punched a whole through their wall!!! Adam went down to ask what was going on, his son is in pain… Well they explained how they just forgotten about Adam and they already called the drug store yesterday and there is a new prescription waiting there for him. Adam was so mad and beat down at this point that he just turned around and went to the drug store.

Adam was going to pick up the prescription with the relief that everything was fixed… WAS! The drug store told Adam that the doctor prescribed a new drug that was $100 MORE!!! WTF!!! $400!!!!!! AHHHHH.

So at point Adam thought to himself about how the doctor must be at his office, the doctor must be very thirsty with an empty glass of reason and respect for mankind; Adam immediately drove down to the doctors office, turned red, grew five times his size and busted through the office wall and said “OH YEAH”! Adam poured the doctor a full glass of F%%$ YOU and left.

Adam told his story to a good friend who’s father is a doctor, Adam’s friend’s father hooked him up with a normal priced prescription that wasn’t anywhere near the price that the Satan doctor wanted to charge him. It took three days but finally Adam got a break, and Jerome had his medicine.

Poor Adam…

Remember the old saying about BB guns when you were a kid — “You’ll shoot your eye out”, well they forgot to mention the saying for swords — “You’ll STAB your eye out”!

Jerome’s little buddy STABBED him in the eye last night when they were playing “knights” in the backyard with their toy wooden swords.

Adam heard the screaming from in the house and ran outside in 1 second flat. Jerome’s eye was as bloody as a New Jersey public school restroom! Adam picked Jerome up with his left hand and pulled the earth towards him with his right until the hospital was in front of them!

The doctor wasn’t sure of how bad the damage was so Adam and Jerome had to stay in the hospital overnight and have the doctor look at it again in the morning to see if Jerome’s eye would get better or worse.

“Thank Obama”!!! for the next day Jerome’s eye was much better and the doctor let them go home with a prescription of eye drops and bed rest.

Another fun visit to the hospital for Adam and his family!

Ever have “one of those weeks” where everything goes wrong because GOD hates you for some reason (like when you were 8 and you made your mom cry because you lit her wedding dress on fire) and with no explanation even though you just read a good one that might validate GOD’s point here?

Adam had that melancholy look about him when he crawled into work on Monday. I asked Adam if he had a bad weekend… Big smelly understatement!

1. AC:
Adam’s main air conditioner unit broke Friday night and it’s 95 degrees outside right now. Running around after two little kids in a red hot lava lamp house isn’t fun, I’m sure it never gets old hearing “Daddy I’m hot” when you can’t afford to just go out and buy a new $500 air conditioner… Well at least his heart won’t freeze but just slowly melt away in the pain

2. CAR:
Adam’s car broke; the brakes went out, the driver’s side tail light went dead, the starter failed, and the engine sounds like a frog is getting violated by a grizzly bear wearing a hard hat! Adam’s wife needs the car to get the boy to school and to just simply get around town… Adam will need to find some other way for the world to run over his soul this week

3. TEETH:
Adam’s dentist (dominatrix) put some weird medieval wire in his braces that pulls his teeth to the back of his jaw to fix his overbite. Adam’s dentist (S and M Master of the Mouth) told him the pain will decrease in a week… Or so…

4. SURGERY:
Adam had to get surgery on his big toe to get some weird corn thing out; Adam was so nervous about getting surgery that he didn’t poop any corn for a week. The corn in Adam’s toe was some growth that was starting to impede his walking. The surgery was very painful and the cost was even more painful.
Adam was recovering from his surgery when the doctor called and said they found cancer in the growth so Adam will need to go back in and take more tests on his foot… Wonderful!

All in one weekend! … WHY
Poor Adam.

Have you ever been driving home and about 5 minutes away from your house the police pull you over for a suspended licence?, me too… aLl tHe tImE!!!!
Poor Adam…

Adam received a speeding ticket 2 weeks ago for driving 65 MPH in a 35 MPH zone, that’s right IBS… AKA “The Taco Bell butter burrito supreme” with the extra serving of beans!… AKAA “The Poopies”. Adam was just trying to get home as fast as he could and then he seen the flashing blue lights. The police officer pulled Adam over and listened to his reasons for speeding but didn’t really believe Adam’s story even though it was so true you could smell it , the officer gave Adam a ticket for big money and said “Have a nice day”. Adam watched the police officer as he followed him home; Adam was so mad but all he wanted to do was empty out, clean up, and change his soiled vic secretes.

Well time went on and Adam put off dealing with the driving school segment of his ticket until 2 days before it was due; Adam found a online ticket school that had an extra service to electronically file his driving class papers for his ticket, Adam didn’t have to bring the proof of his online class downtown or mail it in!… Score 1 for Adam. Adam’s ticket was all paid and the points were taken off his license or so he thought.

A week went by and Adam forgotten all about his ticket until he noticed another set of flashing blue lights behind him, the police again! Adam was pulled over for having a tail light out, no big deal. The police officer went to his car and returned to tell Adam that his license was suspended! Apparently the online driving school didn’t send the proof of the class in and the city suspended his license. The officer made Adam call one of his buddies to drive Adam’s car home for him.

Adam complained to the online driving school and they denied not sending it in. Adam talked to the city, they said they never received it. Adam had to pay the city big $money to get his license back and he was stuck with the points on his license.

Adam should have known this would happen, three weeks prior to all this his son Jerome took a poop on the hood of his car in the backyard; Adam thought to himself then… “This might mean something“.

It’s the first day of school and Adam’s boy Jerome starts pre-school. A boy’s first day of school is a special time… a time of play, laughter, wetting one’s self and tears. Adam’s boy did great on his first day of school, the second day was a little harder. The second day Jerome was scared and just wanted to go home, I feel the same way on Tuesdays except I do actually wet myself!

Adam’s boy Jerome told his teacher that he wanted to go home and had a crying session on her shoulder, the teacher called Adam’s wife to pick up Jerome. When Adam’s wife brought Jerome home she noticed that he smelled like the teacher’s perfume, this made Adam’s wife joke that Jerome was cheating on her by crying on another womans shoulder! Too cute

Adam hopes Jerome starts to like school soon since it costs more than $600 a month! $600 a month is a lot to most people and it is to Adam, too, but Adam loves his boy and will find the money somewhere… He is a great dad.
Public school isn’t the best start for a kid and Adam wants the best for his boy. Will Adam find a way to pay for the school before next months bill?, well the odds are good but the goods are odd.

Adam told me about this time in high school when he has hanging out with some friends when he felt the need to aerate his poo hole. The need was great and the desire to entertain his fellow man was even greater. Adam squeezed with a great might and pushed out a loud oderiferous ass gas. Adam said, ” Here it comes”.. then the pain! Adam tore the skin in his butt!!! The pain lasted two weeks he said.

Don’t try this at home!
Remember… Hold it in boys and girls!